I recently lost my dear friend Gina. And I should say WE because she meant so much to so many different people. (it's never a singular loss) She had a long battle with cancer. She was brave, vulnerable & slowly had to deal with compromising one bit of her independence after another until there was little left.
I felt lost, wanted to give her space to navigate her new unchosen world but, also wanted her to know I was still there. So many transitions were packed into the last couple uncomfortable years. I'm relieved that she no longer has to keep accepting & being so damn strong. (no one required that it was just how she decided to handle this)
Working on my own for almost 20 years now you lose the connection of coworkers. (the good and the bad) You become your own little independent island & find ways to process things you use to do in a group.
I made this tribute for her the day she died. My eyes filled with tears as I frantically drew. (art helps me process my feelings although some things can only be felt & never really understood)
This is a poem by Shel Silverstein I heard as child & felt the raw truth in.
The response (although I really didn't expect one) was lovely & universal- something I tend to forget. (no one likes to think about death)
We all go through this painful loss of sooner or later having a person we love severed from our everyday reality. We are human & this is part of our experience. I'm grateful for the kind words & some people even offered links to podcasts or places that had helped them find some peace with grief.
This was so beautiful & appreciated & necessary. When we hurt our light dims, when others see us hurting they offer a light back to help guide us to a brighter spot. There is something to be learnt in everything- even death.